“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
-Albert Einstein
Gordian knot
: an intricate problem; especially: a problem insoluble in its own terms.
How often have you felt that trying to make lasting change in your life is like trying to untie a Gordian knot? The voice in your head admonishes, “You’ve tried to [pick one: lose weight, exercise regularly, eat better, drink less, sleep more] a dozen times before and it never sticks. It’s a waste of time to try again.” But the tenacious warrior in you refuses to give up… good for you!
“I am going to do it this time,” you tell yourself, “I just need information and a plan. How many minutes a day of exercise? At what heart rate? How many calories? What food is admissible and what’s off-limits? Give me the detailed plan!” you beckon. “On Monday I’ll start The Plan and THIS time it’ll stick.”
What if the missing piece to untying the knot is not so tactical? What if it’s not in gathering more information and creating the perfect plan around which you’ll morph your schedule, habits, and life (has that worked in the past?)? When changes lack staying-power it’s not because we’re “weak” or uninformed, but because we lack clarity as to why we really want the change. Without having determined what really inspires us to embrace new habits, once the excitement of having “The Plan that will certainly change my life” wears off, the motivation to follow The Plan does too.
“The process of getting there is the quality of being there.”
Choose one change you want to make in your life right now. What is the quality that making that change will give you? Will losing weight make you more comfortable in your own skin and give you more confidence in client meetings? Will making sleep a priority give you the benefit of more clarity and focus? Will exercising regularly give you the stamina to produce more at work and have energy to be with your family?
The first step to making transformational changes with staying-power is to dig a little deeper and understand the why. Once you’re clear on why you want to change and what meaning that change has for you, the what and the how are not only easy to embrace, but the process of embracing them becomes a joyful celebration of the synergy between goals and values… and that’s the kind of change that has staying-power.
Hey Kristin so I finally made the “change” and it was at the beckon call of my wife who wanted to lose weight! I agreed to join the band wagon and since the start of January I have lost 20lbs and 2 inches on my waist line. I made a few changes that I am alright living with and have found some great substitutes for example I finally gave up drinking coke and switched to just water or Propel. Started watching my calorie intake a little closer and actaully started running. I dislike running but it came at the recommendation of my doctor to increase my cardio. So the questions I have for you, 1) I have noticed an increase in my BP should I be concerened and will it settle back down and 2) are there any techniques on breathing while running? Thanks!!
Hey Iggy-
First of all… KUDOS to you for 1) supporting your wife in something that mattered to her and 2) finding your own focus and goals in the process. Well done! You bring up some interesting questions regarding BP and breathing. I hesitate to answer specifically because 1) I’m not a doctor, 2) I don’t know your health history, and 3) I don’t know what your normal BP is and what a higher BP means for you. So, given all of that… is your BP higher just when you’re working out or also when you’re at rest? If it continues to stay elevated even when you’re at rest, I’d check in with your doc, just to be safe.
As for breathing when running… I’ve found it to be most effective to continue to focus on deep belly breathing. Try to star to find a rhythm to your breathing so you can be fully expanding your lungs and then exhaling deeply — what works for me is two steps on the in breath and two steps on the out breath. Try it out and let me know if that trick works for you too….
Thanks Kristin, And yes it started out as support, and I did find my own focus and extra energy that I didn’t know I had! As for the BP I think that little free BP machine we have at work is broken, because This morning I donated blood and had the guy check my bp twice and it was 116/72. The machine was telling me it was 148/84 and varried 10 points either way So I feel a little better and I will try your breathing technique and keep you posted! Thanks for your quick response! I Really Enjoy your news letters and your new website! Keep up the great work!
Iggy
Isn’t it great when our partners bring out the best in us…. especially when it’s a focus and an energy we didn’t even know we had? Yeehaw! As for the BP… that’s great news that you got it checked by a professional and found it to be in a really healthy range. I’ve heard that those do-it-yourself BP readers can be very hard to keep calibrated over time, so it doesn’t surprise me that it may have been leading you astray. The good news out of all of it though? You were totally on it and decided to follow-up and find out more information. Well done on being such a good advocate for your own health. (And thanks for the kudos on the newsletters/blog and the new website…. big smile on my face.)