Happiness is for kids (and for those irresponsible adults who eternally act like kids).  Responsible business and thought-leaders are serious and focused.  While happiness is a great idea for your “spare time,” it has no place amidst your impressive business pursuits.  And, besides, who would take a joyful business leader seriously anyway?

It’s true–happiness has no place on your professional development plan. Despite the fact that happy people tend to¹:

• Earn more money
• Be more productive
• Yield stronger performance evaluations
• Have stronger social networks
• Live longer
• Get sick less often and suffer from fewer chronic diseases

Hmmmm…. Maybe some of those “irresponsible adults who eternally act like kids” might be on to something….

How Happy Are You?

Martin Seligman is considered one of the leaders of positive psychology—the realm of psychology that explores the crucial question, “what is going right for people?”   The following General Happiness Scale is from his book, Authentic Happiness.

For each of the statements identify the number on the point scale 1 – 7 (where 1 = “Not a very happy person” and 7 = “A very happy person”) you think is most appropriate in describing you:

1)      In general, I consider myself: 1 … 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7

2)      Compared to most of my peers, I consider myself: 1 … 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7

3)      Some people are generally very happy.  They enjoy life regardless of what is going on, getting the most out of everything.  To what extent does this characterization describe you? : 1 … 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7

4)      Some people are generally not very happy.  Although they are not depressed, they never seem as happy as they might be.  To what extent does this characterization describe you?: 1 … 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7

Total your score and divide by four.  The mean for adult Americans is 4.8.

How do you compare?  Is it time to add “Pursue Greater General Happiness” to your 2011 professional goals?

Cultivating Happiness

As every good business leader knows, if a goal is going to be achieved, it needs some specific objectives to support it.  Here are some ideas for increasing overall happiness:

• Nurture social relationships. Strong social networks are highly correlated to happiness.  If you do nothing else, do this one.
• Pursue well-being, not being well off. Money itself is only marginally associated with happiness.
• Keep a gratitude journal. This helps you focus on all that is going right.
• Get into the flow. Do things you are passionate about.  If you lose track of time when you’re doing it, that’s a good sign that you’re in the flow.
• Complete tasks. If something is important, get it done.  If it’s not, take it off the list.
• Volunteer. Give the gift of your time and skills to a cause that matters to you.
• Reclaim your spirituality. Connection to a higher power helps to support life purpose and give perspective on life circumstances.
• Savor simple pleasures. Love the smell of fresh ground coffee in the morning?  Savor it.
• Thank somebody. Has someone made a difference to you?  Pass on the love and let them know.
• Forgive. Anger and happiness can’t occupy the same space.  Let it go.

Is it possible that increasing your overall happiness might actually give you a competitive edge?  Now, that’s crazy talk.

Reference:

¹ “The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does Happiness Lead to Success?” by S. Lyubomirsky, L. King, and E. Diener, 2005, Psychological Bulletin, 131, pp. 803-855.

Share your comments and ideas at Happiness – Your Competitive Advantage

* (Fair enough… there are obviously other automatically-regulated functions of the body that sustain life and fall into the same category as breathing, but hang with me on the concept, not the technicality).

Several years ago, one of my favorite industry thought-leaders, Kinetic Enterprise Board of Advisor, and a former client, Tim Belber, planted this simple, yet significant, idea with me…. Every single action we take each day is a choice, and if we think it isn’t, than we are choosing to think smaller, act smaller, and be smaller than we actually are.

Whether we realize it or not, many of us resist the power of choice because, with choice comes owning the responsibility of consequences.  It’s a lot easier to throw up your hands and tell your spouse that you have to fly to New York tomorrow because a client demanded a meeting.  Or, to resentfully give up another one of your daily work-outs because you have to go to a networking event.

But, the truth is, you are choosing to fly to New York tomorrow because you prefer the consequences of short-notice travel to the consequences of possibly losing a client.  Or, you prefer to the potential benefits of attending the networking event to the potential benefits of honoring your boundary for self-care.

The Mindset of Choice

Choice is a mindset.  Just like “abundance,” “success,” and “possibility” are mindsets.  A mindset is a set of assumptions and beliefs through which we see the world. These assumptions create a filter for information that perpetuate the belief (for example, have a scarcity mindset?  You will see all of the instances where there is lack and overlook where there is abundance, thus validating your belief that there are not enough resources in the world). Mindsets can work for or against us.

The mindset of “choice” is a success-perpetuating mindset.  It allows us to see all the options present and make a decision based on the cost-benefit analysis of each option.  The decision we land upon is the decision we’ve consciously made based on weighing the consequences or opportunities in each scenario.

The Language of Choice

The magical thing about a mindset is, just because you may not have a specific success-perpetuating mindset, doesn’t mean you can’t build it.  One of the most effective ways to cultivate supportive mindsets is to change your language.  Try this on for size:

• No-Choice Mindset: “I have to cut this meeting short because I need to take this client call.”
• Choice Mindset: “I’m going to cut this meeting short because I have a client call that I want to take.”

• No-Choice Mindset: “I got roped into this Board of Directors meeting and have to go.”
• Choice Mindset: “I was invited to the Board of Directors meeting and am going to take the opportunity to share my opinion.”

• No-Choice Mindset: “I have to pay the mortgage.”
• Choice Mindset: “I’m choosing to pay the mortgage because I prefer that to the consequences of being delinquent on my loan.”

The Practice of Choice

It may seem subtle, but the practice of cultivating a mindset of choice puts you in the greatest position of power. Freedom, expansion, and possibility come from choice. Limits, constriction, and inertia come from lack of choice.

Happy Holidays!  It is with deep gratitude to each and every one of you in my community, that I make this final post for what has been an abundant, growth-filled, and joyous 2010.

(Photo compliments of Peggy Dyer – photographer and artist of greatness – and is part of her One Million Facesproject.  Talk about someone who is impacting her community by working from the sweet spot where her gifts and her business intersect….)

Share your comments and ideas at The Power of Choice

Sure, sure, sure… it’s not in your control, right?  Economic climate, skittish clients, depressed markets. Yep, all those things are true. But, the good news is, you’re not as powerless as you might think.

Money Isn’t Just About Action

The money we attract is a two-part equation:

• The Inside Job – The mindsets and beliefs we have about ourselves and about the world.
• The Outside Job – the actions we choose to take … or not take.

So, you can be doing all the “right” things to build your practice – networking, having courageous and authentic conversations with prospective clients, refining the systems that allow you to work with ease – but without examining your money set-point, it’s unlikely that you’ll earn anymore this year that you did last.

Money Speedometer

I just returned from the 3-day intensive training, Money, Marketing, and Soul, in Tucson, AZ. One of the areas we delved into was that of money mindsets. This concept of the “money speedometer” is courtesy of Kendall Summerhawk, a multi-million dollar business and marketing strategist.

The idea of the “money speedometer” is based on the analogy that the money we bring in is like cruise control in a car. What we’re set to believe we’ll earn, is what we’ll earn.

• When we’re earning less than our set-point, the cruise control gives us a push and we feel inspired to rise to the challenge. We find the courage, focus, and creativity to do whatever we need to in order to bring in more money.
• When we’re earning more than our set-point, the cruise control kicks in and slows us down. This sabotage can show up in our inaction (like not directly asking a prospective client for their business), our fractured action (like attending to low-priority tasks instead of high-impact actions), or even things that seem out of our control (like broken down cars, unexpected repairs at home, etc.).

3 Steps to Calculating Your Money Set-Point

Step 1: Add up the gross amount of money you’ve brought in (this is your income, your spouse’s income, any gift money, any investment money, any form of money that has flowed into your life) in the last 12 months.

Step 2: Select the five highest months and add them up.

Step 3: Divide that total by five. This is your current money set-point.

This amount is what you’re currently “set” to bring in and it represents your past thinking, beliefs and mindsets around money. Once you know this number, you have a choice:

• You can do nothing and expect to earn about the same this year as you did last.
• You can consciously set a new money set-point and begin to create new thinking, beliefs and mindsets around money to make it happen.

Creating a New Money Set-Point

By how much do you want to increase your money set point?  Pick a new set-point number that is just outside your comfort zone, but not something that feels impossible. Now start living into it:

• Post that number someplace where you can refer to it.
• Ask yourself regularly, “What would a $XXX,XXX income earner say or do right now?” Then do it.
• Set a recurring event in your calendar to revisit this calculation (and your new number) every 90 days.

Abundance is like water — it flows out of  the vessel that has no room, and fills the vessel that is empty.  Is it time to create more room is your vessel?  Hmmm……



Share your comments and ideas at Are You Destined to Earn the Same This Year as Last?

There’s a big lie you’re telling yourself.  Not to worry, you’re not alone.  Many of us are telling ourselves the same lie.  The lie is that you want to be successful.

But the vast majority of us don’t want to be successful.  Not really.  What we do want is to be fulfilled.  We want to be flooded with joy in our work and our play, challenged to our limits, living in great abundance, and knowing that we had the courage to create it.

Success vs. Fulfillment

Success and fulfillment aren’t mutually exclusive.  And, in fact, they may well look the same from the outside.  But they come from very different places.

The path of success is extrinsically motivated (doing because you think you should), while the path of fulfillment is intrinsically motivated (doing because, when you listen carefully, your heart tells you that you must).

The missing ingredient for most people who are successful, but not fulfilled?  They have an idea — uniquely theirs — lurking in the depths of their soul that they have never brought to light, and on which they have never taken action.

3 Steps to Move from Success to Fulfillment

A vast majority of Big Ideas die with their creators because the path of success somehow feels safer than the path of fulfillment.  But, the best kept secret?

Once you make an unequivocal decision to honor within yourself the choices that fulfill you, the life force that is tapped swamps the draw of perceived safety that mere success dangles in front of us.

Is it time to move from success to fulfillment and bring your Big Idea into the light?

Step 1: Ask the Big Question.

Be willing to ask yourself, “Is this it?  Am I doing what I’m here to do?” and then challenge yourself to sit still long enough to listen for the response.  There is a still, quiet voice in each of us that knows the answer.  The more respect you give it, the louder it will speak.

Step 2: Have the Courage to Act.

Being willing to release who you are in order to stretch into who you are becoming takes a lion’s courage.  There’s part in each of us that will valiantly protect the status quo – “C’mon… why rock the boat?  This isn’t all that bad is it?  I mean I [pick one: get paid well, have the right house, drive the right car], right?  Can the grass really be any greener elsewhere?”  But the status quo impacts your spirit the way a room without oxygen impacts your body.  It’s only going to stay alive so long before there’s nothing left to breathe.

Step 3: Embrace the Hard Stuff.

“Hard stuff” is the stuff shines a spotlight on the areas of yourself that are begging to be ‘scrubbed up’ so that you can evolve as an advisor, an entrepreneur, and a person.  It is the gremlin of scarcity that coaches you not to do it.  It is the voice of the reptilian brain that beckons you to stay small.  It is the insecurity that drives you to say ‘yes’ to any opportunity, instead of having the courage to say ‘no’ unless it is the right opportunity.

The ‘hard stuff’ is just a collection of opportunities disguised as challenges.  Instead of avoiding them, embrace them and….well, let the games begin.

It’s as easy as that…. 1…. 2…. 3…..

Share your comments and ideas at You Don’t Want to Be Successful

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• The Edge

I told myself I was going to run, so I ran…. for two blocks.  Then I remembered a commitment I’d made to myself six months ago to, at every possible decision point, “Choose Joy!”  (It’s true–as I type this, I see the words still taped to my computer monitor).  With my very next step I transitioned to a walk.  My shoulders pulled back, I could feel the sun on my face and I giggled with gratitude as I looked at the foothills. My body began to respond to the slowed pace it was yearning for that particular day.

Joy… the word itself feels light and full of possibility (just try to scowl and say “joy” out loud at the same time… makes you crack a smile trying, doesn’t it?).  When moving with joy, time and space begin to expand because what you’re doing is exactly what you want to be doing—your mind and body are in the same place at the same time.

When was the last time you were truly “in joy”?

Were you working in the garage?  Baking bread in the kitchen?  Caught up in the meditative rhythm of pedaling your bike?  Why was it so effortless, so easy?  Because you were you honoring the essence of what makes you you!  Joy is the place where your internal compass and external actions align.  It is where your movement in the world harmonizes with the rhythms of your soul.

What would happen if at every juncture, you chose to be “in joy”?  Sound impossible?  Humor yourself and try this:  think about your day to this point.  Every action—from the moment you woke up to the point of reading this email—how often were you moving with joy?  How would your day have flowed differently if you’d chosen an action based in joy instead of obligation?

Does it seem like you would never get around to tasks like folding the laundry and balancing your checkbook?  Sometimes choosing joy means that you change your action—like walking instead of running; and sometimes it just means you adjust your point of view—like deciding that balancing your checkbook is an act of tangibly experiencing the flow of abundance through your life instead of another item on your never-ending task list.

Start with something little… maybe you lie in bed for an extra five minutes and enjoy (“in-joy”?) the process of waking up.  Maybe you make sure you read the sports section—cover to cover—before you leave the house.  Or maybe you take the long way to work so you can hear that whole story on NPR… do you really need to be at your desk at 7 anyway?  How much more centered would you be when you finally arrived if you had moved with joy all morning?

Try this experiment… tape the reminder “Choose Joy!” to your computer, your car dash, or your bathroom mirror and take note of all the little places you get to make that choice.  Who knows… one day you might just realize that it’s not so outlandish that you’d get to make that choice on life’s “big things” as well as the “little ones.”

Share your comments and ideas at Choosing Joy