It’s there. Like a dull ache. Maybe it has been there for so long, that you don’t even recognize the space that its hollowness takes up inside you. But get really still and you might feel it. It is the divide that opened when you first began to separate who you are from what you do… buying into the lie that it is impossible to thrive financially, professionally, personally, and spiritually all at once.
Maybe it shows up in…
- Your frustration with those clients who only see you as “one thing” and don’t see all of the other value you have to offer. (…But have you had the courage to invite them into a conversation that shifts what they see as possible in their work with you?)
- The compensation structure that keeps you working with clients in a way that feels schmarmy or inauthentic. (Which assumes that there is only one way to make good money, and it requires putting part of yourself aside to do it.)
- The job “security” that ties you to an organization whose client service philosophy doesn’t match yours. (Which assumes perceived security trumps authenticity.)
- The fear that clients wouldn’t trust you if they knew any other facet of you than just the confident, infallible, stoic, professional face you present to them. (Pssst….here’s a secret… that’s the biggest lie of all!)
We ignore that dull ache, and then mindlessly numb the pain with the anesthetic of our choice – alcohol, work, food, consumerism, mindless media noise, emotional isolation.
All the while, maintaining the innovation-stopping, spirit-sucking divide that keeps us from doing our best and most inspired work, with clients who are – and continue to become – our raving fans.
But what if we assumed, just for a minute, that it is a lie. A big myth that was fabricated by some lord of a fiefdom a zillion years ago to keep his workers “in check,” and we just continued to buy into it.
What if we assumed that, in fact, it is entirely possible to thrive financially, professionally, personally, and spiritually all at once. And, in fact, by having the courage to question what it would take for you to operate from that undivided place — and the confidence to take action on it — that you would become more desirable to your clients.
More magnetic.
And absolutely indispensable.
Because, in fact, living that way is something your clients want too… and maybe they’ve just been looking for the role model to show them that it is actually possible.
What would you do differently in 2011 if you knew that your greatest success and fulfillment would emerge when you started live an undivided life?
Kristin,
A good challenge as we end 2010. I have appreciated Parker Palmer’s Book, “A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life,” since it was published. I share a quote here:
“The personal decision to stop leading a divided life is a frail reed. All around us, dividedness is presented as the sensible, even responsible, way to live. So the second stage … happens when people who have been making these decisions start to discover each other and enter into relations of mutual encouragement and support.”
Engaging with you or another advisor as well as connecting with others who are chosing to live undivided lives is an important part of the journey.
All the best,
Kathleen
Kathleen-
One of the many reasons I appreciate circling in your orbit! Parker Palmer’s book has had a big impact on me, my thinking, and my want to continue to integrate who I am, with what I do, with how I show up in every situation. Thank you for sharing that wonderful quote from A Hidden Wholeness — a book I feel that every one of us would benefit from reading.